Who I Am Inside
by catheriney2004
Summary: Hotaru has hurt Mikan’s feelings for the upteenth time in her life. Why? She asks herself. Why can’t I even be nice to my best friend? This is a one-shot that will touch the heart to the very core. Please read and review.


Summary: Hotaru has hurt Mikan's feelings for the umpteenth time in her life

**Summary: **Hotaru has hurt Mikan's feelings for the umpteenth time in her life. _Why?_ She asks herself. _Why can't I even be nice to my best friend?_ This is a one-shot that touches the heart to the very core.

**Catheriney2004: **Well, I'm back in another one-shot! I always felt that Hotaru must feel _some_ regrets to being mean to Mikan, so here's the disclaimer and the one-shot! Please review!

**Disclaimer: **Catheriney2004 does not own Gakuen Alice – But she _does_ own the poem. She wrote it herself.

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"HOTARU, YOU JERK!" A young brunette yelled angrily at her violet-eyed best friend. A small flicker of emotion shot through the girl's eyes, but her expression never changed. Always calm and cool. That was Hotaru, alright.

Just moments ago, Hotaru had called Mikan a Baka with an insanely large mouth. Very comical, if you though about it. But Mikan didn't think so, apparently. Small, prickly tears were forming at the edge of her large, amber eyes, and her small mouth curved into a small, sad frown. She said,

"Well, I'll just leave, then." And she walked out of the room. Hotaru watched her go, another small flicker of pain threatening to shoot across her unreadable face.

When she saw the door slam shut and heard her angry friend's footsteps descend down the steps, she finally released the held tension from her mouth. Her sigh was almost inaudible, but the look on her usually-cold face was heart-stopping. A mixture of sadness, pain, and wistfulness were painted onto her beautiful features, and her violet eyes were a pool of shame.

She was a horrible friend; she knew that so well that it was literally imprinted into her genius brain. So horrible. Did she even deserve a friend like Mikan at all? Her wistful eyes stared out of the clear window, and she thought,

_I better start packing soon._ And she got up from the bed again, her eyes now cold and unfeeling once again. Perhaps it was better this way. After all, she would be gone by morning.

The next day, Mikan awoke from her not-so-peaceful slumber, rubbing her sleepy eyes. She instantly remembered the other day with Hotaru, and she crossed her arms angrily. She was no longer the naive little girl that forgave so easily. She was now a young woman with a sharp mind of her own.

She glanced around her 3-star room, her eyes smarting with tears. Why was Hotaru so mean to her? It wasn't like she did anything bad to her……or did she? Suddenly, a wave of guilt shot through her mind, making her eyes twitch in doubt. Perhaps she _had_ done something to Hotaru to make her angry. She was, after all, an insanely ignorant teenager.

The wave of guilt that she had been carrying with her crashed over her head all over again, and she jumped up from her bed to run to Hotaru's room and apologize immediately. Now she was sure that she had done something to her best friend. She was about to throw open her bedroom door and rush out, but a bright envelope on her bed-side desk caught her eye. She stopped, her hand still on the door handle. That hadn't been there last night, had it?

She walked briskly to the desk, and picked the letter up. It was from Hotaru. Mikan's curious side threw over her angry side, and she opened the letter:

_Dear Mikan,_

_I have left to go to France for further studying. I will not be coming back. Don't follow me._

_-Hotaru Imai_

Mikan's amber-brown eyes widened, and she dropped the letter in shock and disbelief. Hotaru was gone? Her hands suddenly clenched, her sharp nails digging into her delicate skin. She was trembling, not from cold, but anger. How could she!? How could she leave her like this? How!?

_H-Hotaru, __**I hate you!!**_ She thought furiously, and she ran out of her room, tears of shock and pain flowing freely down her cheeks. She had been so shocked by the letter that she had not seen that there was writing on the back of the letter, also. It read:

_Knowing Mikan, I know that she may never read this. But I mean every word on this letter, and I am sorry._

_**If I had told you my deepest secrets, **_

_**Would you have stayed or let me go?**_

_**If I had showed you my emotions, **_

_**Would you have stayed open, or would you have closed?  
**_

_**I never told you this, my friend, **_

_**But I must say it now.**_

_**I know that I don't seem to care,**_

_**And I have called you a cow,**_

_**But to me you are my shining candle,**_

_**In the darkest night.**_

_**So please forgive me, my true friend.**_

_**See who I am inside.**_

And in the end, these two never saw each other again, or maybe they were truly avoiding each other. But the pain of betrayal and lies were still etched into their unhealed hearts.

And this is how the story ends.

The truth in this story is evident, as is the moral. _**Always forgive, remember, and believe in true friends. They will never truly leave your side, for they are your friends, through and through.**_ Forever remember this story, for it will save a friendship between many if remembered. Always remember……

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**Catheriney2004: **I won't ruin the mood of this one-shot. Thanks for reading. Please review.

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**Also read and review:**

**Sakura Flower –**

Mikan Sakura is a very advanced Alice user, and possesses many Alices, dues to the fact that she originally had the Nullification Alice and the Stealing Alice. She has enrolled herself in Alice Academy for unknown reasons. When Mikan starts going to Alice Academy, she becomes a popular idol of those around her, due to her smarts and beauty. But, where does Mikan disappear off to at night and occasionally at school?

No one knows where Mikan goes except for Hotaru and herself. And all _we_ know is that Mikan's parents have been captured by the AAO, (Anti-Alice Organization) and she is _not_ gonna just sit there and watch them be used. But she has two choices. Take her parents back and let AAO slowly dominate the world? Or kill her parents mercilessly and take the AAO down quickly? Read to find out which road she takes.

**The Cruise – **

Mikan Sakura, daughter of the richest business man and woman in the world, is going on a private, around-the-world cruise with her parents. Or so she thinks. Unfortunately, her parents have invited all of their friends, along with their children. They just happen to be around the same age as Mikan, and are also filthy rich. What will happen between these people? Read to find out.

**A Stumble Into the Olympics –**

Mikan Sakura is looking for a job. She's got the looks, the smarts, and the strength to do just about anything. But she can't find work suitable for her. She's not picky about the jobs or anything, but it's just that whenever is hired for a decent job, the guys always flirt with her! How the heck is she gonna find a job that doesn't involve all of these flirts?! Well, the answer is clear, for one day, she miraculously finds a flyer saying that Natsume Hyuuga, world class Olympic swimmer, is looking for an agent! She immediately goes for the job, and does she get hired? Well, that's for me to know and you to find out.

**Breaking Through the Ice – **

Mikan, a lowly beggar, is in a depressed state. Why live when you can die? She asks herself. Why try when you'll just fail? But those questions just might be washed away when she coincidentally meets a boy by the name of Natsume Hyuuga, who just happens to be a billionaire child-genius. What will happen to these two? Read to find out.

**Only a Burden – **

Mikan Sakura, a 13-year-old female, is a patient at Alice's Hospital – A.K.A the hospital for those who are doomed to die. She writes a poem about her sorrow. A sad story and a lesson to all. One-shot.

**Who I Am Inside – **

Hotaru has hurt Mikan's feelings for the umpteenth time in her life. _Why?_ She asks herself. _Why can't I even be nice to my best friend?_ This is a one-shot that touches the heart to the very core.

**PLEASE READ AND REVIEW….. SATISFACTION GUARENTEED….**


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